Bitches Gotta Learn

The day has come!  He has not appeared, and so another rises to take his place. The next week will be a roller coaster ride of ups and downs as I scramble to train the new assistant manager and get his old shifts covered.  Somehow I think that even with the training and not knowing if all my shifts are even filled that it will still be better.

So This may be the final post in the chapter of Assistant Manager Horseshit. Now I must think of a new hilarious name for the coming manager.

in unrelated news, why the fuck is the “kidz bop” CD full of songs about relationships. are these 10 year olds fucking or something? disturbing marketing trends, I see you.

Apparently Assistant Manager Horseshit did not learn his lesson.  This morning I was woken by a call from the area manager.  Nobody was at my store, so I got to wake up, throw on my uniform and rush to work.  I got there an hour later then I should, rushing about, working instead of sleeping. Quite a depressing day, indeed.

Nobody knows what happened to Assistant Manager Horseshit. I got several calls throughout the day asking for him. Is he lost? Abducted by aliens? Did he die in a fire?  I will gird myself for the answers to these pressing questions.

A new day dawns, and Assistant Manager Horseshit seems to have realized he fucked up pretty bad, because for the first time ever, he arrived early.  I was stunned and amazed! Today I feel like this is a once in a lifetime kind of event. Tomorrow will tell if he’s turned over a new leaf or if he’s simply trying to gloss over his shortcomings with a single day of acting right.

It’s a mystery that only time will reveal

So Wednesdays are Hell days.  I get there hours early, do inventory and paperwork then finish off my shift without a break.  It sucks pretty hard. Today was a special kind of day, however.  Around 8:30 my truck arrives with it’s large order of food and napkins and cups and knives and whatnot. What’s supposed to happen is that Assistant Manager Horseshit shows up at 9, and either puts the order away or gets the store ready.  This morning, what happened was that he called in saying his driveway was blocked.  Several hours later: still blocked, but he says that yes, he’ll be here before the afternoon shift starts.

So 25 minutes after his shift starts, I call him and he is still at his house, blocked in.  I’m unsure why he didn’t think it was important to tell me this, or to try and find a replacement. Immediately upon learning this I Launched my hastily formed plan “Replace Horseshit Assface” The Process seems to be moving forward, and only time will tell  if success will come.

Until then, I sleep. I just worked an 18 hours day and I’m tired as fuck.

So as previously stated, Monday is not my day off, it’s just the day that I pretend I get off during the rest of the week.  at 6 am, I receive a call that not only is Assistant Manager Horseshit not at the store, but he’s not even close.  Sadly, I had been expecting this and I was already dressed and ready to go.  So not only did I not get my day off, I worked for 6 hours through lunch.  At this point I thought I was free, that I would go to the home and relax, get to sleep early and wake up rested for the new day.

Wrong. My mistake. What ended up happening was a call several hours later informing me of the severe shortage of reduced fat chips.  It came to be that I got to enjoy a 60 mile round trip to the warehouse to get a single box of chips. Through rush hour traffic.

I now hate chips. We should outlaw chips and hunt down the survivors, burning them in piles of crunchy pyres.

So the job is successful, record setting sales and whatnot. But there is a savage price to pay for good sales.  Specifically, I am paying with all my time and energy.  My store does not really generate any bonuses, because sales have been too low. Still, I take pride in my work. I don’t cut corners when it comes to my store, even if I get a bit bitter sometimes.

The past few weeks, sales have been way up.  It’s looking like all the hard work is finally paying off, and I am looking forward to a decent bonus.

But what I’ve really learned this week is that if I have an idea for a post, that I should post it immediately, even if I’m exhausted and need to wake up in a couple hours. Because even a day later I’ll have no idea what I was going to write.